Most of us see the world as a fair and good place, until we encounter a narcissist. It’s at that point that our entire belief system is destroyed, and our inner world is turned upside down. Why? Because we encounter evil in human form, something we thought only existed in stories and myths. But this is the devil incarnate in our lives. That’s when we’re left with questions that we feel nobody can answer, not even our own brain. We stay shocked, ruminating over the same things, saying the same things again and again to different people, trying to understand: what happened to me? These statements reveal a lot, primarily the shock and deep betrayal you are trying to grasp.
1. “I did not know people like this existed.”
Why would somebody say this, and when would they say it? When they have been violated in every single way imaginable, they can’t comprehend how someone can so strategically inflict pain and effortlessly lie. They can’t understand how somebody can fight tooth and nail for custody when they hardly care about their children, or how somebody can be so manipulative. How can someone distort reality just to avoid taking responsibility? How can someone compartmentalize things and minimize abuse to make it seem like the other person is being overly sensitive? How can someone not care at all about the person they claim to love, or change entirely when they lose interest? This is astounding because you’re not like that; you can’t understand how somebody can be this evil because you’re not evil. You do not have the brain of a narcissist. For them, it’s their identity, their personality. The shocking thing is, nothing is evil in being that way for them.
You are asking this question because you never thought something like this existed. However, upon encountering the narcissist’s rottenness, their evilness, if you will, you could not believe that a human can be this destructive. Probably your idea of monsters was that they come wearing horns and a red cape, and basically, you’d be able to see and recognize them. But now, you are dealing with somebody who was quite charming, calm, kind, or whatever in the beginning, and they changed into this. How? Why didn’t I know about this kind of deceitfulness? Probably because you were raised by good parents and didn’t experience narcissistic abuse before. Maybe you did not know people could be this bad. Yes, you knew to a certain degree that people could be manipulative, distort facts, and lie, but this is entirely different. This exists on an entirely different plane, and you have been there, and that world still feels alien to you.
2. “How can all of that be a lie?”
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