If narcissists were honest, they’d tell you upfront that their love bombing tactics are only going to lead to more manipulation and mind games. But narcissists are anything but honest, which leads to major secrets. Secrets that, if you knew them, would make it much easier to break free. Today, I’m exposing those secrets and, in doing so, helping you take your power back from the narcissist. So, let’s jump in.
Secret #1 – Why seeking revenge on a narcissist can backfire
Narcissists don’t want you to know this, but they will absolutely self-destruct if it means they can bring you down too. There’s a saying, “If you seek revenge, dig two graves,” and that definitely applies here. Before seeking revenge on a narcissist, understand that they may lose money, destroy their own business, or hurt themselves just to spite you. Most people aren’t willing to go that far, so tread lightly when it comes to revenge. Getting even keeps you stuck in their games, while walking away can be hard but immensely valuable.
Secret #2 – What the narcissist’s mask hides
Underneath all that grandiosity and abuse, narcissists are deeply insecure and very fragile. They bury their true vulnerability under an exaggerated mask, which can look like exaggerated superiority or fake humility, as in the case of a covert narcissist. This insecurity becomes apparent whenever they perceive criticism. They might rage out or give you the silent treatment, but either way, you’ll see they’re not okay.
Consider this: if someone criticizes you for being too quiet when you’re naturally loud, you’d probably laugh. But if they touch on an insecurity, that’s when it hurts. Narcissists are way more insecure than they seem. Push their buttons, and the whole charade comes crashing down.
Secret #3 – What the narcissist hopes you don’t notice
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Narcissists set themselves up for failure. If you take a step back, you’ll see that their actions create the shame and guilt they want to avoid. They can’t handle rejection, yet they keep pushing people away. Narcissists are walking contradictions; their actions speak louder than their words. They hurt others to feel good about themselves, but it doesn’t work and they end up hurting themselves too.
Secret #4 – The narcissist’s surprising need
The narcissist actually needs you. They treat people like pawns, but they need constant praise and ego stroking. If you stop giving them that, they read it as rejection. A narcissist will do the bare minimum and expect praise for it. Keeping up their act is a full-time job, and they can’t do it without you.
Secret #5 – How the narcissist gets supply
Narcissists feed on other people’s emotions. They drain both positive and negative energy to feel better or in control. Whether you swoon over their compliments or freak out over their abuse, it’s all supply for them. The key to breaking free is staying calm and not showing emotion.
Secret #6 – What the narcissist knows
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Narcissists know you’ll figure them out eventually. While most don’t realize they’re narcissists, they know something is off and fear being exposed. As you get closer to them, the abuse ramps up. They might use silent treatment, rage, or smear campaigns to protect themselves.
Secret #7 – What love means to a narcissist
Narcissists don’t understand love. To them, all relationships are transactional. Their “love” is addiction to your affection and the ego boost it gives them. They will proclaim their undying devotion one day and discard you the next.
Secret #8 – Are you special to a narcissist?
To a narcissist, no one is really special. People are tools to serve their ego. They shower you with praise one minute and toss you out the next. They don’t value you for your worth, only for what you can do for them.
Secret #9 – How easy it is to hurt a narcissist
It’s incredibly easy to hurt a narcissist. Their egos are bloated yet fragile. Small acts of resistance can provoke a major narcissistic rage. Saying no or setting a boundary wounds their grandiose self-image, prompting them to want to hurt you back.
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