When a narcissist realizes you’re gone forever, here’s what they feel inside. Welcome to another step in our journey of breaking free from narcissists. Today, we explore the hidden emotions that narcissists feel when you decide to liberate yourself from their toxic influence.
There’s a common belief that narcissists don’t feel any pain or distress when their victims break free. It seems like they always have a new source of attention, making their emotions seem unimportant. However, it’s crucial to understand that while I can share my perspective, I can’t speak for every narcissist.
When you abruptly sever ties with a narcissist, it takes them by surprise, cutting deep into their emotional core. It’s a visceral, gut-wrenching sensation, an emotional tempest that shakes them to their very foundation. But let’s be clear: I share this not to entice you into reconsidering your decision to return to a narcissistic partner or to grant them a second chance. That is not the intention here. Just because I acknowledge that narcissists feel pain when someone walks away does not mean you should second-guess your choice. Remember, you made the decision to leave precisely because they inflicted immense pain upon you.
Now let’s delve into the heart of the matter. It’s time to confront the harsh reality. Narcissists have subjected you to unbearable agony, a tumultuous rite of suffering that has left you battered and scarred. You’ve endured the consequences of their actions, the erosion of trust, and the utter disregard for the sacred boundaries of your relationship. It is precisely these agonizing experiences that prompted you to declare enough is enough. You’ve summoned the courage to walk away from this toxic dynamic.
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You’ve chosen self-preservation, opting for the liberation that comes with prioritizing your own well-being, freedom, and happiness above the torment you’ve endured. It’s time, my friend, to embark on a transformative journey of healing and self-discovery. It’s astonishing how frequently narcissists act as if they never anticipated your departure. They appear genuinely taken aback when confronted with the reality that you’ve chosen to sever all ties and initiate no contact. It’s akin to changing the access code to your life, a necessary step for your own well-being. Once accomplished, when they realize you’re truly gone, many of them undergo a tumultuous emotional upheaval, cycling through stages of pain. Some become obsessively fixated on your absence.
Initially, they deny the gravity of the situation, believing it’s just another run-of-the-mill breakup. They downplay the significance of the moment, viewing it as a mere temporary setback. Denial is soon replaced by disbelief as the weight of the situation dawns on them and they comprehend that you’ve indeed departed. They grapple with the bewildering fact that you’ve actually done it, struggling to fathom your departure. Then the blame game begins, as they point accusatory fingers in your direction, alleging that you never truly loved or cared for them. Their fury intensifies, questioning how you could abandon them in such a manner, comparing your actions to those who’ve deserted them in the past, and unleashing their emotional pain.
Let’s illuminate a surprising reality here: for certain narcissists, even as they forge new connections, moving on doesn’t equate to extinguishing the emotions they once held for you. It’s a complexity that defies simplicity. Consider this: we’ve all embarked on new chapters in our lives yet found lingering sentiments for past partners. We’ve embraced fresh beginnings while reminiscing about former flames. Moments of yearning and nostalgia have crept in even amidst new bonds. This is the very reason some narcissists rush into new relationships—they seek refuge from unresolved emotions of the past. However, they’ve yet to confront and process these deeply buried feelings, casting a shadow over their new relationships, remembering the unfinished chapters of yesteryears.
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It’s a confounding truth that even when narcissists seemingly move on swiftly to new supplies or appear deeply affected by your departure, their actions stem from profound pain. Now, let me clarify: this isn’t an attempt to manipulate or guilt-trip you into revisiting that toxic dynamic. Absolutely not. This isn’t your sign to return. Disregard any misconstrued notions or misinterpretations. I emphasize: do not return. Stay clear completely. But here’s the twist: upon realizing your genuine detachment, they’re thrust into a whirlwind of emotions—bewilderment, remorse, and eventually rage.
Within them, anger ignites, sparking a spree of compulsive and vindictive behaviors. They become unwaveringly persistent, incessantly reaching out, showing up uninvited, leaving desperate notes, bombarding you with calls. Concurrently, they’re plotting their backup plan, securing another source in case you don’t return. Heaven forbid, the fear of losing you forever compels them to exhibit erratic and obsessive conduct while simultaneously laying the foundation for a new relationship or hunting for a fresh target. Narcissists, devoid of shame yet masters of sidestepping accountability, endeavor to justify their actions within their own twisted reality.
They declare they’re moving on because you left them, while secretly clutching hope for your return. They’ll say and do whatever it takes to ensnare you again. Their methods may involve relentless obsession, and if that fails, unyielding anger takes the reins. Beware, for an enraged narcissist can be exceedingly perilous. Hence, I beseech you: if you choose to depart, sometimes it’s wiser to do so discreetly. Shaking their world to the core, the mere thought of your life beyond them can catapult their instability to hazardous heights.
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As you break free, their meticulously constructed universe crumbles, leaving them disoriented and bewildered. This wasn’t part of their script. Overwhelmed by the unforeseen, they might lash out, attempting to deflect blame onto you. It’s essential to recognize that traces of truth might linger in their reactions. Yet, navigating a narcissist’s realm at this level can be treacherous. Be prepared for the storm to escalate to unimaginable proportions. You know firsthand how adept they are at pushing things to extremes. Here’s the harsh reality: narcissists can spiral into depression post your departure. Some might resort to manipulative tactics, uttering phrases like “I’m so despondent I might end it all.” Should you encounter such statements, I implore you not to shoulder this burden solo. Reach out to a mental health crisis hotline or request a wellness check.
Involvement may inadvertently make you another target, so it’s best to seek professional assistance. Always bear in mind that the paramount concern is your safety and well-being. While possessing empathy and compassion is commendable, it is equally vital to ensure you maintain the strength necessary for taking crucial steps, including seeking external assistance. Narcissists can veer into dangerous territory when their world starts to crumble. Despite the semblance of truth in their emotions, prioritizing the safety of all involved parties is imperative.
Let me be clear: their words may sound sincere, but that doesn’t guarantee lasting change. It simply shows their strong attachment to you and fear of being alone. When you express your desire to leave, they might react emotionally, even losing control. If it becomes unsafe, involve authorities to ensure your safety. If you have children with them, be prepared for the possibility of them using the kids to manipulate and hurt you. Sadly, this is a reality we can’t ignore. Your safety and well-being come first.
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