Narcissistic parents harbor a deep-seated need to portray an image of the perfect family. This leads them to fixate on their children’s appearance, manners, and achievements as a reflection of their parenting. This focus on image rather than substance results in a relationship devoid of genuine emotional depth. Their selective treatment of their children leads to the creation of scapegoats, black sheep, and golden children. Those who keep up with their standards lose their identity in the process, which is why most golden children become narcissists eventually. The primary example of that is the relationship between a narcissistic son and his mother. Scapegoats, who are not as perfect as the golden child, are discarded. They get all the hatred, all the abuse. Narcissistic parents do not treat their children equally.
They exercise favoritism and create a rift among siblings
A narcissistic parent favors one child over the other, using the favored child as an ally to manipulate and control the siblings. This favoritism is rarely based on genuine affection but is a means to maintain dominance and control within the family structure. They are the puppeteers, and you are the puppets, everyone functioning according to their will, but only the scapegoat knows what is going on in the family.
In conclusion, narcissistic parents do not love their children. Never. I have grown up with parents like that; both of my parents are narcissists. I have never experienced true, unconditional, proper, healthy parental love. It was dysfunctional from both sides. You are used as a trophy, an extension, a pawn. Any difference of opinion, any uniqueness, including your individuality, is belittled. You are humiliated for that, and they attack your growing and developing identity until they erase or suppress it.
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