When the narcissist realizes that leaving you was a mistake, they live in a world of their own. They really live up in their head and like to think that people are easily replaceable because they treat people like objects. Objects are replaceable; they have some monetary value, but if you break a chair, you can buy a new one. If you break a coffee mug, you can buy a new one. It’s not the end of the world. However, when you break and lose somebody who has been treating you well, who sincerely cared for you, who was willing to make sacrifices to make it work with you, and you take that for granted, you push it away to the point where that person just doesn’t have the ability to care anymore about the narcissist, that’s not easily replaceable. The person who gave that much to the narcissist is not easily replaceable.
But, of course, narcissists often forget this. They often learn this only after they’ve pushed a person or many people away. Narcissists don’t just push one partner away; they push people away generally. It’s just the way they operate. They make everything about them, using people to serve them. They don’t really see other people as independent human beings but rather as extensions of themselves. They lack the empathy to acknowledge the impact of their actions, behaviors, and words on others. In other words, because narcissists often need to project their anger and shame outwards, they often hurt other people in the process. The people they hurt the most are those closest to them. But they don’t care about leaving a trail of traumatized people behind them because they lack empathy.
When you keep traumatizing people, eventually, they’ll leave. They’ll walk away because they have no other choice. In the narcissist’s mind, they just think they’ll summon up somebody else who’s compatible with them. They want someone who’s submissive, willing to be an object of their negative projection, someone who supplies them with admiration and attention. However, they eventually realize that such people don’t just come in; they are not like a packet of M&M’s where you can get more whenever you want. Good supply is not infinitely available and is hard to come by because most people, once they notice the first few red flags, will say, “Actually, I don’t want to have anything to do with this person. I can see they’re toxic.”
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