It’s really hard for narcissists to find people who can help meet their needs and actually stick around. It’s when the narcissist realizes that everything you gave them—your giving nature, your compassionate nature, your people-pleasing nature, which they exploited—was valuable, that they are forced to face reality. The reality in their head doesn’t match with reality in their physical experience. In their mind, they are super special, their ego is a mile high, and they think people are privileged just to be in their presence. They don’t think it matters if they abuse people because those people should feel grateful to be in the narcissist’s presence.
Narcissists think they can replace you easily, but when they struggle to find someone to fill the role you once played, they start to realize that it isn’t so great. For someone to actually stick around, there has to be a measured give and take, which narcissists don’t do. They only take and give a little at the beginning during the love-bombing phase to secure the person’s long-term supply. But it’s only a matter of time before they take exponentially more than they give, making it unsustainable for the other person.
Narcissists do reach a point where they feel the struggle and have to acknowledge that there isn’t an endless loop of people to fulfill their needs. Casual encounters are short-lived and don’t provide the good, sustainable supply that narcissists need. Even if they manage to get certain people into their orbit, those aren’t people who will stick around. When narcissists realize that having someone who would actually stick around and be their supply robot was a good thing, they start to struggle to fill that emptiness. One person who sustainably supports the narcissist is worth much more than 100 people who spend a short period of time with them and don’t want to give more.
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