Usually, narcissists do get the response they’re after. When they approach their partner, supply, or whoever in that way, it works. Sometimes, that push-pull dynamic can go on for a long time. But what happens when you don’t react as they expect? What happens when they pull away, ignore you, and you mirror that? Well, they might give it some time thinking, “Oh yeah, you’re going to come around. Of course, you are; you’re head over heels for them. You won’t manage to spend too much time away from them.” But what if nothing happens and you just stay pulled away, keep mirroring them, and go about your business? Of course, the narcissist starts to get concerned and confused. They start losing their own confidence, thinking, “Did they misjudge the situation? Are you maybe not that interested in them? If they play that game too long, is there a risk they’ll lose you?”
So, narcissists will tend to come back and approach you again. They’ll often be very nice, very interested in you, ask how you’re doing, and say things like, “Hey stranger, how have you been? Why haven’t you called? Why haven’t you reached out?” as if they hadn’t taken any action to ignore you in the first place. They’re carefully gauging your response to see if you were at all nervous, to see how committed you really are, to see if maybe you don’t care. They’re trying to assess your interest levels. If your interest levels aren’t very high, they’ll try to get you interested in them again. They’ll take the love bombing up a notch, dedicate more time and attention to you, and schmooze you a bit more.
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