Today, I will be looking at something that all narcissists will do when a relationship ends and how they actually plan for it from the early stages of the relationship. This is regardless of whether you discard them or they discard you. As I always say, it doesn’t matter who the narcissist is, whether it is a parent, sibling, friend, partner, or boss, they all behave the same.
I think we can agree that a relationship with a narcissist is a broken relationship and most definitely a toxic one. Some people can maneuver their way around the toxicity to make it somewhat workable, but many cannot. So those relationships usually end. Ending a relationship is never easy, especially after spending years, even decades, with that person. And it can be even more jarring when it’s a family member. But letting go is sometimes the only way to move forward, and this is especially true when dealing with narcissists. There is power in walking away; there is newfound strength when we are able to finally turn our backs on those people who have been hurting us or just breaking us down.
Narcissists, of course, have a way of trying to make people dependent on them or even just think that they need them so that they can stay in their lives. But this is just manipulation, and it’s important that anyone in that position see it for what it is.
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A relationship can end for many reasons, but when it’s a normal relationship, both parties are usually willing to own up and be accountable for the role they played in the relationship coming to an end. This is where relationships with narcissists are different because when a relationship ends with a narcissist, they are never at fault. So what will all narcissists do when a relationship ends? They will blame the other person for the relationship falling apart. Even if they try to appear reasonable and accept a small percentage, the onus will be on the other person. This is always the case whether the narcissist discarded you or you discarded them. The other person is to blame, but never the narcissist. The other person made things unbearable, and that is why the narcissist had to discard them. Or the other person was crazy and selfish, and that is why they discarded the narcissist. The narrative is always the same; for some strange reason, the narcissist is the one who keeps ending up with partners or people who are not right or mentally unstable. The narcissist is the good guy or the helpless victim who can’t find someone to love them the way they deserve. If you meet someone like this who blames all their exes for the relationship ending, that is a big red flag.
In the mind of a narcissist, a relationship ending means someone is at fault, and they are determined that it will not be them, even if it is. This is why narcissists slander their partners so that if the relationship ever ends, they have covered their backsides. Their story is already in place so that no one would ever look at them as the bad guy. What is annoying is when the narcissist actually ends up staying with their partner for decades but has been slandering them ruthlessly for years. The people who believe the narcissist’s lies about this other person end up viewing the narcissist as a saint for being such a patient person for enduring their so-called toxic partner, child, friend, or whoever it is for so long. What is certain is that whether the narcissist is a man or a woman, they are always the victim in their relationships.
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When a relationship ends with a narcissist, all the narcissist is concerned about is appearing blameless. A failed relationship can never be their fault as they try to convince themselves and others that they are the ones who gave their all to the relationship, so it is always the other person’s fault. It’s the other person who doesn’t value commitment or family. It’s the other person who is crazy and selfish, but they, the narcissist, are innocent. Narcissists tell lies to get into relationships, and they tell lies to get out of relationships. It’s interesting how they enter relationships as saviors, wanting to help us, love us, and cherish us, but then leave as the victim. This is why narcissists are not known to change their ways; they are too busy trying to pin the blame on everyone else instead of looking in the mirror and seeing themselves for what they really are.
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