You will never win with these people, no matter how right you are, no matter how true, justified, and no matter what kind of mountains of evidence you have. You will never win with these people, not by engaging, so don’t go there. Go gray rock instead. The thing you have to remember is this: they are willing to do and say things you would never consider doing or saying just to win, just to be right, just to provoke a response from you.
So give up the illusion of having the last word, finally being heard, understood, validated, approved of, or even cared about by this person. They don’t care, not the way you do. They can’t. They aren’t wired that way. They simply do not have the equipment. Remember, empathy impaired and possibly even lacking in conscience entirely, depending on where they are on that spectrum. So stop expecting them to have your heart. They don’t have your heart. Instead, tell yourself the dirt honest truth about who and what you’re dealing with based on your experience. Stop hoping, wishing, and praying for things to change because it’s not going to happen. They don’t change.
Instead, do yourself a big favor and surrender to reality. Decide that you’re going to start taking better care of yourself now and stop slamming yourself against the brick wall that is this heartless soul who’s been driving you bananas. Surrender, accept that it is what it is, and go gray rock. Here’s the thing: by becoming boring and uninteresting, as uninteresting as you possibly can, by giving them zero, nada, in so much as you’re able, if you can’t give them nothing, if that’s not an option for whatever reason, then you give them as little as possible. For example, one-word responses, things like “Oh,” then silence. “Duly noted,” and not another word.
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