A few years ago, my classmates asked me, “What’s wrong with you?” I would respond, “Why do you think anything is wrong with me?” They would say, “You look quite tense in your face, as if you have been attacked by something. You look quite afraid.” This shocked me because I was not aware of what was wrong with my face. I would then go to the restroom to take a look and noticed my eyes looked wide open, as if they had experienced some kind of brutality or extreme violence. Isn’t that true? That is what I experienced and witnessed with my own eyes, and it showed up continuously without me knowing. They say the eyes are the windows to your soul; I say the eyes are the windows to your trauma. You just have to understand the language they speak.
Another major facial change due to narcissistic abuse trauma and stress is looking older. You may be 18 but look 37, and people won’t understand why. Your face is always in a worried state; it looks bigger and different. Chronic stress of all types ages our body, which shows up as these changes. Have you noticed any major facial changes in yourself? If yes, drop your answers in the comments below and help other survivors feel validated and less alone in their healing journey.
Now comes the recovery part. If you have recognized these changes in your face, you must understand they are caused by muscle tension. The muscles are attached to the skin, so if you keep them tense, they leave a mark. The first step is to leave the narcissist because if you stay in that environment, your biochemistry will be messed up and nothing will make a difference if the adrenals are hyperactivated. So you have to get out first, then work on your nervous system. But when it comes to your face, you have to intentionally relax your eyebrows, smooth your eyes, and notice your jaw, as this is where we store a lot of stress. I recently talked about TMJ. If you’re clenching your jaw, intentionally drop it.
Here are two exercises to help relax your facial muscles:
- Fish Mouth Exercise: Move your mouth like a fish opening and closing, without forcing it. Open your jaw widely and then close it gently, letting the tongue rest on the floor. Breathe deeply.
- Fake Chewing Gum Exercise: Move your jaw in a circular motion as if chewing gum. This will relax the area.
To conclude, you must leave the narcissist and cut off the source of your stress for your body to activate its natural healing mechanisms. Be gentle with your body and understand its rhythm. Once you understand what your body needs, you will achieve successful somatic healing.
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