Number five, they don’t have a genuine connection to their own emotions. This is a very subtle but important point. It’s not that they don’t have emotions at all. It’s not that they don’t experience them. In fact, narcissists experience all kinds of emotions. The difference is that narcissists are not deeply connected to their own emotions, and that is why they can have a complete absence of empathy for you. They don’t have the ability to connect with or understand their own emotions on a deeper level. They have access to emotions like rage or frustration or sadness, but they don’t experience those things deeply or reflectively. They experience them as a tool to manipulate others or as a means to an end, rather than as something that reveals something about who they are. Because of that, they lack the self-awareness that helps us to understand our own feelings and to empathize with others. When a narcissist is expressing anger at you, they are not connecting to the depth of that anger as a part of their own internal landscape; they’re simply using it to get what they want or to exert control. They can hurt you deeply and not feel any regret or guilt about it because they are not truly connecting to the impact of their actions on a deeper emotional level. They simply don’t have a full range of emotional awareness and connection that would allow them to deeply understand or care about how their behavior affects others.
