The Inescapable Rage
There’s no escaping the rage. You might wonder if you can understand narcissism without provoking constant outbursts, but that’s unlikely. You’ll either grow tired of the relationship and leave, or if you can’t leave, you’ll make it very mechanical and perfunctory. Alternatively, you might hope they’ll leave or find a place to go when they tantrum because you won’t be listening to it anymore.
The Potential End
At some point, your presence will trigger so much shame that they’ll either try to destroy you with their rage or leave because being around you is too painful for them. Neither outcome feels good, especially if you’re unsure whether you want the relationship to end. It’s normal to feel conflicted—you might not want the relationship to end, even though you know it should. You may also wonder if you can understand the situation without them noticing your change in behavior, but again, that’s unlikely. Any shift in your behavior will be noticed.
Pathologizing Your Understanding
It’s frustrating because they didn’t notice you when you were crying or trying to get their attention. But the moment you make a small change in how much narcissistic supply you give them, they notice. Understanding narcissism is tricky, and your partner may pathologize you for the change, saying things like, “You’ve changed. You’re cold. You’re weird. You’re losing your social skills as you get older.” They’ll pathologize you for understanding them.
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