The fourth thing a narcissist will do when they’re losing control is a whole lot of emotional manipulation and possibly emotional blackmail. Now, you’re going to deal with emotional manipulation throughout a relationship with a narcissist. Let’s be real.
But it takes on a very specific shape when they think they’re losing control. So, when they think they’re losing control, they’re going to try to play on your empathy. And they might play the victim. So, they’re going to do and say things that make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. Like you’ve hurt them in some way. And you may even start thinking that you’re a narcissist.
*And if they can get you questioning yourself and get you thinking that you played a bigger role in this than you actually did because you’re somebody who’s willing and able to take responsibility for your stuff, and none of us are perfect, if they can get you to start questioning yourself, then you might be open to having conversations with them. And that’s their foot in the door.
So, this may come in the form of a pity party, like, ‘Oh, I don’t know what I could have possibly done to deserve this treatment from you.’ Or they may tell you about how much pain they’re in as a direct result of you not being in their life. They can’t eat. They can’t sleep. They may play with empathy in this way because if you start feeling bad, the solution is clear, right? You can fix their problems.
All you have to do is let the narcissist back into your life. Don’t fall for it. The important thing to remember here is that if you’re falling for it, it’s because you do have empathy and you do care about this person. So, take all that kindness and compassion that you have and direct it towards yourself. This is where it’s needed right now. Because if you let that person back into your life, they’re only going to hurt you again in the same ways that they have repeatedly hurt you in the past. So, to be very clear, having empathy for the narcissist in this case is going to hurt you. So, this is a choice. You’re choosing you.
5. Make false accusations.
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