What Your SILENCE Means to The Narcissist

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The Power of Communication

Here’s the thing: Few things are more powerful than treating a narcissist as if they are literally dead to you. Literally. They do not matter. They don’t even exist. You don’t see them. They’re not on your radar. You’re busy living your life, taking good care of yourself, meeting your own needs in healthy ways, with healthy and sane others. And you have no time, zero time, for the nonsense. Literally cut and cauterize so they can no longer exploit you emotionally, energetically, or otherwise, which forces them to have to go elsewhere to get their fix.

And again, the good news about this is they leave you in peace—maybe not right away, but certainly soon enough once they realize there is no longer anything to be had from you. And the truth is, they may circle back for a while to test the waters and figure out just how serious you are, check back in to see if you’re suffering from codependent amnesia, and whether or not they can worm their way back into your life and suck you back into the abuse cycle one more time. In other words, you may have to communicate, “You’re dead to me,” that stance, repeatedly before they start taking you seriously and go find another target.

But I promise you this: Treating a narcissist to a healthy dose of “I don’t even see you, you don’t matter one iota to me,” communicating that they are completely and utterly insignificant to you, is absolutely the fastest way to be rid of them. And I know this is a tough thing for those of you who are still in people-pleasing, approval-seeking mode. I spent many years there myself, so I get it. Before doing our own healing and recovery work, this can be hard, particularly if we’re caught up in trying to get our needs met from people who fully do not have what it takes to meet those needs. People who do not have any genuine love, validation, or approval to give. People who are an emotional and energetic match to our unresolved wounding and trauma.

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