One of the first things to note is that they hold grudges forever. Narcissists cannot forget someone who has grieved them or caused a narcissistic injury. They will forever be hoping for an opportunity for revenge and will not be able to get you out of their mind, even if you are no longer around. If given the opportunity, the narcissist is willing to love-bomb you and make you feel like all is well, when in reality, all they want is revenge. If you have exposed a narcissist, embarrassed them, or even discarded them first, these actions can make you unforgettable to them and leave them yearning for revenge. And a narcissist never stops seeking revenge.
Super Benefits
Another reason why the narcissist won’t be able to forget someone is if that person was a major ego boost—someone who validated them, made them feel important, or gave them opportunities they couldn’t have had on their own. Reminiscing about these times fuels the narcissist’s fake sense of self, just knowing that once upon a time, this person admired them or validated them. This really boosts their ego. That person either validated their narrative of being the hero or the victim, and just remembering these interactions reinforces this narrative in the narcissist’s mind. But of course, the narcissist does not miss the person—they miss the benefits they gained from having that person in their life.
Tables Turned
The final reason a narcissist can’t forget someone is due to a lack of closure. Lack of closure is a double-edged sword. It leaves the victim unsettled and sometimes unable to move on, but it can also keep you at the forefront of the narcissist’s mind. This happens because the narcissist tends to discard people abruptly and harshly, thinking that these people will either crawl back or wait around for them. But when this doesn’t happen, and the person moves on with their life and goes no contact, the narcissist is left feeling dumbfounded and wondering what went wrong. The lack of closure that they initiated to manipulate you and keep you stuck has now come back to bite them. Once you understand and accept that a narcissist will never give you closure, the sooner you can let go and move on with your life.
Responding to the Narcissist
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