In addition to excluding you from important family decisions, another classic technique of an emotionally abusive person is controlling your access to finances. They might make you give them the money you earn, or if you’re not working, they may give you a small allowance and monitor every financial transaction you make. This is just another form of control to keep you trapped in an unhealthy situation.
Along with control, threats are a common technique used by an abusive individual. They might threaten to leave or divorce you anytime you try to set a boundary, assert yourself, or express displeasure with how they’re treating you. Another strategy abusers use is blaming you for their bad behavior. They might say something mean or do something cruel, and instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they’ll claim that you somehow caused their behavior. This is a subtle but powerful tactic to control another person.
If any of the signs we discussed today resonate with you, or if you recognize yourself or someone else in an emotionally abusive relationship, I strongly encourage you to reach out for help. There are many licensed counselors who can help you determine if you are in an abusive relationship and, if you choose to stay, help you set boundaries. If you choose to leave, they can support you through the emotions and feelings that arise from this difficult decision.
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