Meanwhile, the narcissist will triangulate you so much with this old supply that eventually, you will start feeling jealous. You will crave their validation and depend on them to see you the same way they see their old supply. This is precisely what the narcissist wants—they want this chase, to feel important. They create a sense of competition, like a trophy that must be won, urging you to run after them, to fight for them because they love controlling multiple people at once. Essentially, it’s like a narcissist creating a harem of different sources of supply, stirring up the chase and creating hype for nothing.
Now, let’s return to the old supply/new supply dynamic where you are the old supply, and they get a new supply. The new supply is heavily used for comparison: “See how much better she or he is than you? These are the mistakes they don’t make. They’re not crazy like you. They’re not sensitive like you. They’re not always questioning me like you do.” How could they, when they haven’t yet seen the narcissist’s true self? They have only been shown one side of the narcissist, while the old supply knows the real person.
As their old primary supply, you feel shattered, broken, confused, and jealous. You start feeling emotions you’ve never felt before because there’s always this ongoing competition. You find yourself doing more, putting in more effort to prove to them that you are the one they should be with, that they don’t need anyone else. But of course, that never happens. No matter how much you do for them, it’s never enough. They keep going back and forth between you and the new supply, and you feel like you must remove this person from their life. You start developing feelings of hatred, resentment, and rage towards the new supply, wanting to erase them from existence, not realizing that this emotional state was deliberately elicited by the narcissist. They love seeing people fight over them, dying to win their attention.
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