Today, I’ll be discussing something that all narcissists do when a relationship ends and how they’ve been planning for it since the early stages of the relationship. This applies regardless of whether you discard them or they discard you.
As I always say, it doesn’t matter who the narcissist is—whether it’s a parent, sibling, friend, partner, or boss—they all behave the same way. I think we can all agree that a relationship with a narcissist is broken and, most definitely, toxic. While some people may be able to maneuver around the toxicity to make it somewhat workable, many cannot. As a result, these relationships often end.
Ending a relationship is never easy, especially after spending years, or even decades, with that person. It can be particularly jarring when it’s a family member. But sometimes, letting go is the only way to move forward. This is especially true when dealing with narcissists. There’s power in walking away, and there’s a newfound strength in finally turning your back on those who have been hurting or breaking you down.
Narcissists, of course, have a way of trying to make people dependent on them or making them think that they need them in their lives. But this is just manipulation, and anyone in that position needs to see it for what it truly is.
Sharing is caring!
Relationships can end for many reasons, but in a normal relationship, both parties are typically willing to own up to and be accountable for their role in the relationship’s demise. However, this is where relationships with narcissists are different. When a relationship ends with a narcissist, they are never at fault.
So, what will all narcissists do when a relationship ends? They will blame the other person for the relationship falling apart. Even if they try to appear reasonable by accepting a small percentage of the blame, the majority of it will be placed on the other person. This is always the case, whether the narcissist discarded you or you discarded them.
In the narcissist’s eyes, the other person made things unbearable, which is why they had to discard them. Or the other person was “crazy” or “selfish,” which is why the narcissist had to leave. The narrative is always the same. For some strange reason, the narcissist always seems to end up with partners or people who aren’t right or are mentally unstable. In their version of the story, they’re either the “good guy” or the helpless victim who just can’t seem to find someone to love them the way they deserve. If you meet someone who blames all of their exes for the relationship ending, that’s a huge red flag.
Sharing is caring!
In a narcissist’s mind, when a relationship ends, someone has to be at fault, and they are determined it won’t be them, even if it is. This is why narcissists slander their partners long before a relationship ends, so they can cover themselves. They’ve already crafted their story so that, when the relationship ends, no one will see them as the bad guy.
What’s particularly frustrating is when a narcissist stays in a relationship for decades, all the while ruthlessly slandering their partner. The people who believe the narcissist’s lies view them as saints, praising them for their patience in enduring such a “toxic” partner, child, or friend for so long. What’s certain is that, whether the narcissist is male or female, they always portray themselves as the victim in their relationships.
When a relationship ends with a narcissist, their only concern is appearing blameless. A failed relationship can never be their fault. They try to convince themselves and others that they were the ones who gave their all to the relationship, and it’s the other person who doesn’t value commitment or family. The narcissist will claim that the other person is “crazy” and “selfish,” while they remain “innocent.”
Narcissists tell lies to get into relationships, and they tell lies to get out of them. It’s ironic how they enter relationships as “saviors,” wanting to help, love, and cherish you, but then leave as the “victim.” This is why narcissists are not known to change their ways—they’re too busy pinning the blame on everyone else, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing themselves for what they really are.
Sharing is caring!
