Even after the relationship has ended, narcissists often try to hoover their way back into your life. Named after the famous vacuum brand, hoovering refers to the narcissist’s attempts to “suck” you back into the toxic relationship. This can take the form of sudden apologies, promises to change, desperate pleas for help, or guilt trips.
Hoovering is not about love or remorse—it’s about regaining control. Narcissists can’t stand losing their grip on you and will play on your emotions, empathy, and hope to reestablish the power dynamic. They may claim they’ve changed or need your help, but ultimately, it’s another manipulation tactic designed to pull you back into the toxic cycle.
What You Can Do:
- Recognize hoovering for what it is: a tactic to regain control over you.
- Set firm boundaries and refuse to engage with their attempts to reconnect.
- Remind yourself of the patterns you’ve experienced and the emotional harm they’ve caused.
- Stay strong and focused on moving forward with your life.
Conclusion: Protect Yourself and Thrive
Narcissists thrive on manipulation, confusion, and control. By recognizing these three dirty tactics—the sudden discard, smear campaign, and hoovering—you can protect yourself from further emotional harm. Surround yourself with supportive people, set firm boundaries, and never forget that you have the strength to move forward. Healing from a narcissistic relationship takes time, but with knowledge and self-care, you can not only survive but thrive.
If you’re dealing with the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship, remember: It’s not about you, it’s about their need for control. Reclaim your power and focus on building a life free from their toxicity.
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