Next, be on the lookout for false humility and superiority. While overt narcissists are blatantly arrogant, covert narcissists often mask their superiority with false humility. They might downplay their achievements or feign modesty, all while seeking validation and admiration from others. This subtle form of superiority is designed to keep others in a position of inferiority without appearing overtly arrogant. Be on the lookout for someone who frequently makes self-deprecating comments but seems to enjoy it when others contradict them with praise. This pattern of false humility is often a way to fish for compliments and reinforce their sense of superiority.
Next is gaslighting and emotional manipulation. Gaslighting is the hallmark of narcissistic abuse, and covert narcissists are particularly skilled at it. They subtly distort reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, or feelings. For example, they might insist that a conversation or event never happened, or that it occurred differently than the victim remembers. Over time, this tactic can erode the victim’s self-confidence and sense of reality, leaving them dependent on the narcissist for validation. If you find yourself consistently doubting your memory or questioning your judgment after interacting with someone, consider whether this person might be gaslighting you.
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