Another dangerous game of the covert narcissist is their use of the silent treatment and passive aggression. Covert narcissists often use passive-aggressive tactics, like the silent treatment, to control and punish their victims. Instead of openly expressing their displeasure or anger, they withdraw affection or communication, leaving the target to guess what they did wrong. This silent treatment can last for days, weeks, or even months, creating significant anxiety and distress in the victim, who may become desperate to figure out what’s wrong or make amends. This is the goal of the covert narcissist: to reestablish dominance and control over the target. The silent treatment, in particular, is one of the crueler forms of manipulation and abuse tactics that covert narcissists use, leaving the target upset and desperate to resolve the situation. Remember, normal adults don’t go silent when there’s an issue or a problem; they openly communicate. If someone in your life gives you the silent treatment, take a closer look at this individual, as you may be dealing with a covert narcissist.
Emotional withholding is another game covert narcissists love to use. Emotional withholding is a subtle yet powerful form of manipulation where they withhold love, affection, approval, or emotional support as a way to punish or control their victim. By creating an emotional vacuum, the narcissist keeps their target in a state of longing and uncertainty, making them more dependent on the narcissist for emotional fulfillment. Normal people do not withhold love, affection, and emotional support from those they love. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are constantly seeking approval or affection that never seems to come, or if emotional support is only given on the narcissist’s terms, emotional withholding may be at play. This tactic is designed to keep you off balance and emotionally dependent.
Next, they love to exploit the insecurities of others. Covert narcissists are skilled at identifying the insecurities of others and using them to their advantage. They might bring up past failures, physical flaws, or other vulnerabilities at opportune moments to undermine their target’s confidence. By preying on these insecurities, they keep their victim feeling inadequate and dependent on the narcissist for validation. They may disguise their exploitation of your insecurities as a joke or even as concern, but don’t buy into that narrative. Anytime someone humiliates or embarrasses another human being, no matter how they present it, it is a big red flag.
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