The truth is, I have a proven track record of being incapable of an honest and authentic relationship. I just don’t feel love like others do. I am pre-programmed to see myself as a victim and to destroy you when you inevitably fail to meet my unrealistic expectations. It’s a tragic cycle, and I hope you can find a way to break free from the illusion that I could ever provide the genuine connection and love you deserve. Don’t let your addiction to me ruin your future opportunities to be happy.”
While such an admission would be incredibly helpful, as it would make you realize a narcissist’s behavior is not personal but part of a destructive pattern, in reality, they will never admit to their toxic patterns. Even if they were aware of them, this would require facing uncomfortable truths about themselves, which challenges their facade of perfection and superiority. The important takeaway is that their inability to sustain a genuine, healthy relationship is a result of their disorder and has little to do with you. This understanding can help you detach from self-blame, stop rumination, and allow you to move forward.
2. Admitting Their Self-Centered Nature
In this fantasy world, it would be healing to hear something like:
“Once you were addicted to me, I had you where I wanted you. You’d do just about anything to get my love and approval. All I had to do was pull away, express disappointment, make you feel guilty, or tug on your empathy strings, and you would jump at the opportunity to cater to my five indulgent selves: selfishness, self-absorption, self-centeredness, self-importance, and self-service. I was always happy to take and receive with a sense of entitlement, but I conveniently dismissed your needs and disappeared when it was time to give back.”
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