You have to plant information that makes them think they’re great, that they have control, or that you’re powerless. Let me give you an example. You tell the narcissist, “I love you so much that I can’t live without you for a second.” You need to sound desperate. What will that desperation do? It will make them feel powerful, thinking, Oh, they seek me, I must be really important. Their response? They’ll try to abandon you, punish you, and make you chase them. Isn’t that the goal? Your ultimate need is freedom. Let them abandon you—that’s exactly what you want. But you must act as if you’re suffering, even though deep down, you know you’ve fooled them into living in their fantasy world. That’s how you ethically fool a narcissist.
Sign number two: You’ve mastered the art of giving them “drip supply.” What is drip supply? It’s when you give them tiny, occasional bits of attention, admiration, validation, or even anger, just enough to make them think they’re still in control. Narcissists are chasers by nature; they don’t like abundance. So, you weaponize that trait by giving them just enough attention to keep them coming back.
Why would you want them to come back? It’s not that you want them in your life. What I mean is, you’ll be able to keep them at arm’s length, satisfied enough that they don’t fully destroy you—especially if they still hold power over you. Sometimes, you have to act as if you’re struggling or drained of energy, which gives them sadistic pleasure. But meanwhile, you’re secretly planning your escape.
Be unpredictable. When they can no longer push your buttons, you’ve learned how to push theirs—not to harm them, but to protect yourself and your freedom.
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