I want to help you understand what you can do to end the silent treatment forever. Sometimes, we wish or think that the other party would change so things could go well. And guess what? It would be nice if that happened, but they don’t. There comes a point when we realize this person has such a long track record that hoping for change at this moment would be part of denial — denying what’s really happening.
The truth is, if we want change to happen, it has to start with us. I’m not putting the blame on victims at all, but what I had to come to terms with was that the only person I could change was myself. Until I did that, everything happening in my relationships was going to continue. Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting change. We have to realize this in narcissistic relationships.
Rather than hoping that the narcissist will stop the silent treatment forever, put that thought aside and realize that it is in your power to stop the torment of the silent treatment forever. I’m going to help you do that today, and it involves recognizing two things.
The first thing we need to recognize is that when we beg, plead, try to make peace, or apologize, we have to know what our motive is — and we have to know what the narcissist’s motive is. Our motive is obviously to end that toxic dynamic of treating somebody as if they don’t exist. What we don’t realize is that we’re doing exactly what the narcissist wants. Their motive is to feed off your drama.
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