If you’re struggling with narcissistic abuse recovery, whether you’re still in the relationship or have been out of it for years, the trauma can remain unless you work through it. Time alone doesn’t heal the personality changes caused by trauma.
You may notice that you’re hypervigilant, always scanning your environment for danger. You may feel constantly on alert, struggling to regulate your emotions, and it might take days to feel like you’re back to normal after being triggered. You may also find yourself stuck in emotional states like depression or anxiety, unable to feel joy, excitement, or creativity. It’s common to feel trapped in negative thoughts.
So, what do we do about this? This part can be challenging because we often want a quick fix, but trauma recovery doesn’t work that way. It requires patience and support. Trauma gets stuck in our body because it was too much for us to handle at the time, and healing requires working through it at a pace that supports our body’s needs.
You can’t simply “learn” your way out of it. It’s important to engage both your conscious mind and your body. We need to help our body unlearn the beliefs and coping mechanisms that were ingrained during narcissistic abuse. It’s a process that requires effort and time, but it’s worth it. The goal is to help our survival brain stop running the show and only kick in when necessary.
To anyone going through this, I encourage you to give yourself the time and space to heal. It’s difficult to go through narcissistic abuse, but staying stuck in it — even after the narcissist is gone — is even worse. Doing the inner work allows you to get back to who you truly are.
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