Number two: Narcissists dress to preserve their youth. They refuse to age gracefully and cling to clothing that may be too youthful for their age, such as tight jeans or flashy accessories. Now, you may argue, “What’s wrong with that? Anyone should be able to wear anything as long as they like it.” You’re absolutely right. But the problem with narcissists in this scenario is that they use a particular type of clothing to gain access to young people and be part of that group. Older people who prefer a younger dressing style do not do that; they may want to look young by wearing certain clothes, but their main intention is not to run away from their age or deny their reality. They gracefully accept it and somehow reconcile with it. A narcissist, on the other hand, always chases something that makes them feel younger than their biological age. I have also noticed that when a narcissist starts dressing in a youthful way, there is usually a young supply in their life, and to fit the scenario and relive their youth, they dress accordingly. This is a major form of gaslighting; through wearing these types of clothes, they delusionally believe they are 20 when in reality they may be 70, 80, or older.
Habit number three: This is very interesting and personal—an excessive focus on their dressing style in public and complete neglect in private. I have seen this with my father; he would overly focus on his looks and hygiene when going out because going out meant influencing a certain type of people or projecting a false image. But when at home with us, he would hardly care. He would wear old, worn-out clothes and didn’t care how shabby he looked or how that made us feel. He had money and clothes but still chose to wear his used items. Can you believe it? He would say, “Why do you need to discard those? Give them to me; I’ll put them to use.” They meticulously dress up when they have to attend a certain occasion or meet someone, but when in private or less visible situations, they let their appearance slip entirely, hardly caring about their hygiene. If you told them, “You smell, go take a shower,” they might respond, “No, I don’t care.” This shows they do not respect you or the surroundings they share with you at all. It’s all about supply; they are motivated by what is in it for them. Changing clothes and dressing nicely when with you has nothing to offer them, so why would they put in the effort? As crazy as this may sound, I have seen some narcissists wearing formal attire when going on a date. Yes, they can wear what they want, but do you understand what I’m trying to say here? It’s a power move that makes them feel powerful. Female narcissists often wear high heels, and while there is nothing wrong with that, I’m talking about obsessively wearing heels all the time—even at home. They might even wear heels when they’re with you. What does that make them think? They feel like they are some kind of queen of a kingdom or that they are really powerful. Another thing they do is wear sunglasses all the time—at home and outside. It’s like they want to hide their eyes. Why? Because they are insecure and filled with shame. When someone is embarrassed about themselves, what do they avoid? Making eye contact. So that is a possible explanation, or they might be predators who want to keep scanning you for information without letting you know.
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