Although a covert narcissist may be able to hide the fear, jealousy, and insecurity that your strength and personal power have triggered within them for a time, a more overt narcissist will swing from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde in an instant. They likely won’t be able to hide their triggers or wounded ego as easily. In my opinion and experience, all narcissists are both phony and sneaky, but a covert narcissist brings a little extra to the party in that regard.
Now, that said, it’s important to remember that narcissistic people need to be in a position of dominance and control over others. All is well as long as they’re getting their way and having their needs met. But the moment that’s not the case, look out. Once they’re not getting their way, once it becomes clear that they’re not in control, once you’re not complying—or, God forbid, you accidentally show them up somehow, like shining a little too bright or simply by being who you are naturally—what happens is, whether you realize it or not, their ego takes a hit. Sometimes it’s a big hit, something that has absolutely nothing to do with you, and you have no control over it. Remember, it’s their stuff, not yours.
If they can’t gaslight you into some form of submission, compliance, or feelings of inferiority, if they can’t manipulate, dominate, or control you, then, given the limited tools they have to work with in their emotional and psychological toolbox, they’ll be left with no choice but to target you differently—more passively, but just as destructively, if not even more so than their direct tactics. This is usually done by manipulating and controlling how other people see you.
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