Did you know that two of the most damaging effects of narcissistic abuse are chronic fatigue and burnout? You may feel like you’re running on empty no matter how much sleep you get. If you’ve been caught in the web of narcissistic abuse, you might know that feeling all too well. It can also leave you feeling perpetually drained and exhausted. Today, we’re about to dive into the 10 reasons why narcissistic abuse triggers chronic fatigue and burnout. Are you ready for number one?
Excessive Drama
Dealing with a narcissist is like being stuck in a never-ending soap opera where you’re the unwilling star. Narcissists thrive on drama, constantly stirring the pot to keep everyone on edge. This constant state of chaos drains your emotional energy, leaving you feeling like you’ve run a marathon without taking a single step. As Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse, points out, narcissists manufacture drama to stay relevant and in control. This emotional rollercoaster is exhausting, and it’s no wonder you’re left feeling fatigued and burned out. You’re essentially in survival mode, always on high alert, which wears you down mentally and physically.
Gaslighting
Imagine constantly questioning what’s real and what’s not because someone keeps twisting the truth and making you doubt your own experiences. That’s what gaslighting feels like, and it’s a favorite tool of narcissists. They’ll tell you that you’re overreacting, that things didn’t happen the way you remember, or even that you’re imagining things. Over time, this kind of mental manipulation can wear you down, making you feel mentally drained and exhausted. As Dr. Robin Stern, a psychologist and author of The Gaslight Effect, explains, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that leaves you feeling confused and unsure of yourself. Living in that kind of mental fog is like carrying a heavy load all the time, which can lead to chronic fatigue and burnout because your mind never gets a break.
Emotional Suppression
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When you’re dealing with a narcissist, you might find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, trying to keep the peace by swallowing your feelings. It means you’re bottling up anger, sadness, or frustration just to avoid setting off the narcissist. But here’s the thing: suppressing your emotions doesn’t make them go away—it just buries them deeper. That hidden stress builds up over time. According to Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned psychologist, unexpressed emotions will never die; they are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways. This emotional suppression can feel like a weight on your chest, leading to chronic fatigue and burnout because your body and mind are constantly dealing with internal stress you’re not letting out.
Inconsistent Affection
Dealing with a narcissist can feel like riding an emotional rollercoaster. One moment they’re showering you with affection, and the next they’re ice-cold and distant. This hot-and-cold behavior keeps you on edge, constantly guessing what you did wrong or what you can do to get back in their good graces. It’s confusing and exhausting because you never know where you stand. This unpredictability drains your emotional energy. As psychotherapist Shannon Thomas puts it, narcissists keep their victims off-balance with inconsistent affection because it gives them power. This emotional whiplash not only makes you question your worth but also leaves you feeling worn out and mentally exhausted, contributing to burnout over time.
Codependency
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When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you might find yourself constantly seeking their approval, trying to make them happy just to get a bit of validation. This reliance on their feedback for your self-worth can be draining because it means you’re putting your own needs and self-esteem in their hands. Over time, this can erode your sense of self, leaving you feeling exhausted and unfulfilled. As Dr. John K. Pollard, a psychologist, explains, codependency is like giving someone else the power to decide your value. When your self-worth depends on someone else’s approval, it’s like being on a never-ending treadmill, running hard but never getting anywhere—which contributes to chronic fatigue and burnout.
Emotional Numbness
When you’re repeatedly exposed to the emotional chaos of narcissistic abuse, you might start to feel like you’re living in a fog, where your feelings seem distant and hard to connect with. It’s like your emotions are on mute, and you can’t engage with them anymore. This emotional numbness happens because you’ve been through so much turmoil that your mind starts to shut down feelings as a way to protect itself. As Dr. Jonice Webb, author of Running on Empty, puts it, emotional numbness is your mind’s way of coping with overwhelming stress by disconnecting from feelings. This detachment not only makes it hard to process what’s happening to you but also contributes to feeling utterly drained and burned out.
Loss of Social Support
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When you’re caught in a relationship with a narcissist, they often isolate you from friends and family, making you feel like you have no one to turn to. This loss of social support can leave you feeling completely alone and overwhelmed, like you’re fighting a battle all by yourself. Without a support system, you don’t have people to lean on, share your feelings with, or get perspective from, which can make every problem feel 10 times bigger. Psychologist Dr. Carol McBride, an expert on narcissistic abuse, says narcissists isolate their victims to maintain control, leaving them without the necessary support to recognize the abuse and seek help. This isolation amplifies the stress, leading to chronic fatigue and burnout because you’re carrying all that emotional weight alone.
Sleep Disturbances
Dealing with a narcissist is like having a nightmare you can’t wake up from—even when you’re awake. The constant anxiety and stress have your brain working overtime, replaying every conversation and anticipating the next drama. It’s no wonder you can’t sleep. You lie in bed, staring at the ceiling as if it’s going to give you answers while your mind races faster than a hamster on a wheel. Sleep becomes a distant memory, and you’re left feeling like a zombie. According to Dr. Matthew Walker, a sleep expert, stress and anxiety are sleep’s worst enemies. Instead of getting your beauty rest, you’re stuck with bags under your eyes and a brain that’s running on empty. No wonder you’re tired all the time—you’re living in a sleep-deprived soap opera.
Dissociation
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When dealing with narcissistic abuse, you might find yourself mentally checking out or feeling detached from reality as a way to cope with the emotional pain. This is known as dissociation, and it’s your mind’s way of escaping when things get too overwhelming. The problem is that constantly distancing yourself from what’s happening can lead to cognitive impairment, making it hard to concentrate, remember things, or even think clearly. As trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk explains, dissociation is a survival mechanism that makes the unbearable bearable. While it might seem like a relief at first, this detachment can leave you feeling foggy and exhausted, contributing to chronic fatigue and burnout because your brain is always working overtime to block out the stress.
Chronic Stress Response
When you’re stuck in a cycle of narcissistic abuse, your body stays in a constant state of stress, always on high alert. This is known as the fight-or-flight response, where your body’s stress hormones are always active, readying you for a threat that never seems to go away. Over time, this continuous state of alertness can wear you out, leaving you physically and mentally drained. As Dr. Bruce McEwen, a leading expert on stress, notes, chronic stress keeps the body in a constant state of readiness, which depletes energy and wears down resilience. It means that every day feels like a battle, and that relentless stress can lead to severe fatigue and burnout because your body and mind are perpetually running on empty.
Understanding these reasons why narcissistic abuse triggers chronic fatigue and burnout is the first step toward healing. You deserve to feel energized and vibrant, free from the shadows of narcissistic abuse. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and take steps to rebuild your energy. Take it one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and know that recovery is possible.
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