In this article, I share eight common catchphrases used by narcissists, helping you identify their tactics early and protect yourself from manipulation, exploitation, and abuse. Recognizing these patterns can empower you to spot narcissistic behavior before it causes unnecessary pain and trauma, especially when dealing with close individuals displaying these traits—whether a narcissistic parent, sibling, or partner. Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey that requires commitment to your well-being, enabling you to break free from being a source of “narcissistic supply” and live a fulfilling, independent life. It’s normal to worry about the narcissist’s impact, especially for those in recovery, but remember that narcissists will continue using manipulation and exploitation to survive. Instead, focus on your journey toward recovery, peace, and freedom.
Number one: “You’re overreacting.
Variations include, “You’re so sensitive,” or, “It was just a joke.” Here, you’re having a perfectly rational and legitimate emotional response to harmful or toxic behavior, but the narcissist sees that you’re catching on to their actions. This is where gaslighting begins, causing you to doubt your reality, question your perceptions, and even second-guess your memory. Gaslighting is their way of emotionally invalidating you and keeping you compliant. As long as you’re busy doubting yourself, they don’t have to suffer any consequences for their behavior.
Number two: “You’re crazy.
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Narcissists love to provoke high-voltage emotional reactions from you. Why? It feeds their need for narcissistic supply. By inspiring these reactions, they feel a twisted sense of importance and superiority. Once you react, they point the finger and say, “Look at you, you’re the crazy one.” This tactic not only discredits you but also allows them to stay calm, cool, and collected, manipulating the situation to make you seem unstable. It’s a sick game, but one they play regularly, especially with their chosen target.
Number three: “My ex is crazy.
What this actually means is they drove their ex crazy through similar toxic behaviors. They’ll often speak ill of an ex to create a narrative that serves their agenda. Healthy people don’t need to diminish their exes, especially early on in a relationship. If someone leads with this narrative quickly, be cautious. Chances are, if you’re lucky, you’ll be the “crazy ex” next.
Number four: “He or she is just a friend.
Often, this is a sign the narcissist keeps people on standby as potential sources of narcissistic supply. They may use these “friends” to remind you of how easily you could be replaced. If you question this behavior, they’ll label you as jealous, insecure, or controlling.
Number five: “You’re so insecure and jealous.
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Narcissists are pathologically envious, even if they hide it well. Inspiring jealousy in others gives them narcissistic supply. For instance, a narcissistic parent may create praise triangles between children to keep them competing for attention. If you find yourself feeling insecure due to unfair treatment, recognize that this is a tactic to destabilize you and keep you from leaving.
Number six: “You have trust issues.
When you start picking up on their untrustworthy behavior, they may accuse you of having trust issues. Your instincts are probably spot-on, but the narcissist wants you to doubt yourself rather than see their betrayal for what it is.
Number seven: “Who would believe you?
The narcissist may isolate you or undermine your credibility so that others are less likely to believe your version of events. When you walk away, they’re free to spread whatever narrative serves them best. Our job is to focus on loving ourselves, healing, and creating a life where their opinion no longer matters.
Number eight: “Who’s gonna want you?
Variations include, “You’ll never find someone like me,” or “No one else will put up with you.” This tactic is meant to keep you feeling trapped. The truth is, if you never meet someone like the narcissist again, that would be a good thing. You bring a lot of positive qualities to the table, and the right people will see that.
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