Ending a relationship with a narcissist is not like a regular breakup. It’s a journey of untangling yourself from a psychological web that often leaves you questioning your own reality. People around you may ask seemingly simple questions like, “Why can’t you just move on?” or “Why can’t you get over it?” These well-meaning but uninformed inquiries often fail to grasp the complexity of narcissistic abuse. Victims of this kind of relationship struggle to verbalize why it’s so hard to move on, because the pain is so layered, it’s hard to know where to begin.
First, there’s the heart-wrenching reality that you fell in love with someone who never truly existed. The person you loved was a crafted illusion, a version of themselves that they presented to hook you. Now, you’re left mourning the loss of a fantasy—grieving someone you thought you knew, but who was never really there.
Then there’s the conditioning. Over time, a narcissist molds you into someone you barely recognize. They chip away at your identity, making you question your own thoughts, actions, and even appearance. You might look in the mirror and wonder, “Who am I now?”
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