You’re always quick to respond, always online, never giving it a break. Why? Because of the unpredictability of the narcissist’s behavior. Anytime they reached out to you, it felt like your last chance to salvage the relationship. You didn’t want to lose that opportunity. You were trying to show them that you were present, that you cared, and that you would do anything for them. They exploited this by ignoring you, knowing it would give you anxiety. You’d watch their status, their activity, wondering why they were online but not responding to you.
The problem is that this has now become your pattern, extending to all your relationships. When you don’t get an instant reply from a friend, you worry. You call them, check in, and ask, “Are we okay? Did I do something wrong?” You hyperanalyze their words. If a friend or partner sends a brief reply, you immediately worry, thinking it means the end of the relationship. You over-explain yourself, apologizing and explaining unnecessarily, while they might just think, “Relax, it’s fine.”
These are the trauma-generated texting patterns you’ve developed.
How to Resolve This:
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