Going no contact with a narcissist is often excruciating. It takes an incredible amount of strength to implement and even more to maintain. However, what many of us are not prepared for is what might happen after we go no contact. In this article, I will help you understand the intricacies of a narcissist’s reaction, how they think and feel, and most importantly, what you can do to hold onto your power and avoid getting hurt again.
The Seven Things a Narcissist May Do After No Contact
1 Make Contact About Random Things
The narcissist may test the waters by reaching out about random or trivial matters. They’re trying to see if you’re still hooked and can be pulled back in. The remedy here is simple—don’t engage. Block all channels of contact and focus on detoxing from the toxic relationship. Healing your inner being is essential to maintaining your resolve.
2 Take Responsibility and Promise Change
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Sometimes, narcissists will promise to change, possibly even seeking counseling or discussing their childhood wounds. However, this is usually a ploy to get you back. Unless they have done deep inner work (which most will not), their ego defenses will quickly return, and things will go back to being worse than before. The solution? Focus on healing and empowering yourself. True transformation comes from within you, not them.
3 Appeal for Sympathy or Guilt
Narcissists may use a tragedy or personal issue to hook you back in, knowing you are a caring person. They might claim they are sick, or have lost their job, all to play on your compassion. But remember, your responsibility is to yourself. Don’t fall for the guilt trap. Focus on your own health and boundaries.
4 Engage in Smearing or Abuse by Proxy
This tactic is designed to punish you and get your attention. Narcissists may smear your name, damage your property, or hurt those you love. The best way to handle this is to stay authentic and walk the straight line of truth. Heal your triggers and know that the narcissist’s antics will eventually fall on deaf ears.
5 Replace You with New Supply
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A narcissist may flaunt a new partner in your face, which can feel devastating. The trauma of being replaced can trigger deep fears of abandonment, making you feel worthless. However, it’s essential to know that their new supply is simply another source of narcissistic supply—they are not getting the “dream” you once imagined. Heal the parts of yourself that are triggered by this, and focus on rebuilding your own life.
6 Continue Contact Through Proxies
If the narcissist cannot get in touch with you directly, they may try to use mutual friends, family members, or even social media to keep tabs on you or deliver cryptic messages. They want to test whether you’re still emotionally hooked. The best remedy is to fully detach from their influence and continue doing your inner work.
7 Claim They Ended the Relationship
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Narcissists have monstrous egos and will often tell you—or others—that they ended the relationship. They might change their social media status, delete your photos, or defriend you. If you haven’t fully healed from your own trauma, especially related to abandonment, this can trigger a reaction where you might give in, give more pieces of yourself away, and fall back into their trap. The key is to heal the terror of feeling unloved or rejected and return to your own wholeness.
The Healing Path
Healing from narcissistic abuse is about breaking the addiction to external validation and becoming your own source of love, security, and worthiness. If you stay focused on your inner work, no matter what the narcissist does, you’ll eventually find peace and joy in your own life. True healing comes from connecting with healthy people and learning to honor yourself fully.
If you’re looking for deeper guidance, consider joining my 16-day recovery course where we dive into these quantum tools for self-partnering, healing, and thriving. Remember to like, subscribe, and share the Thriver mission with others who may need this information. Until next time, keep healing and thriving—there’s nothing else to do.
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