But this does not mean all hope is lost. In fact, understanding this dynamic is key to your healing. It’s vital to realize that this process unfolds in divine order. Narcissists are consummate actors, skilled at portraying whatever role they need to secure narcissistic supply—attention, resources, accolades, or praise. They give only for the sake of what they can receive in return, never for the genuine joy of helping others.
At the quantum level, true giving involves giving to others because, ultimately, we are giving to ourselves. Healthy people experience joy in helping and caring for their loved ones. In stark contrast, narcissists seek only to extract narcissistic supply, whether positive (adoration) or negative (control through fear and pain).
One of the most difficult realizations is that the narcissist will never change. They are wired to seek supply from others, and you cannot become their constant source. Once past the honeymoon phase, you will often be the target of their anger, projection, and abuse. Even if you try to appease the narcissist, you will still experience moments of being their emotional dumping ground.
So, what can you do? The key to true healing lies in focusing on yourself. It’s about dropping the need for others to validate your experience or expose the narcissist. Healing starts when you stop seeking external approval and support and start healing yourself from within.
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