If you’re in a relationship—romantic, familial, or professional—with a narcissist, you’ve probably learned that their birthdays are fraught with tension. No matter what you do, it will likely never be enough. If you remember their birthday, they might downplay it and make you feel like you’re overdoing it. But if you forget, you’ll be met with a level of anger and hurt that feels wildly disproportionate to the mistake.
For many people in long-term relationships with narcissistic individuals, birthdays become a source of dread. Each year, they’re forced to play an impossible guessing game: Do I throw a big celebration or keep it low-key? What gift should I get? Will they like it, or will they lash out no matter what? It’s exhausting and creates a constant sense of walking on eggshells around the narcissist’s ever-shifting expectations.
When Birthdays Bring Out the Worst
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