How to Make a Narcissist Freak Out and How They Make You Do the Same In this article , I’ll explain how to make a narcissist spiral out of control, and how they might be doing the same to you. Let’s dive in.
When I say “freak out,” I’m talking about sending a narcissist into a panic or causing them to lose control. Some call it throwing a tantrum, but essentially, it’s about disrupting their emotional state. Interestingly, you don’t need to act out of malice to achieve this. Simply standing up for yourself can do the trick.
1. Stand Your Ground
This is something you should be doing with everyone in your life, and it’s crucial when dealing with toxic individuals like narcissists. If you’re naturally empathetic, a people-pleaser, or a caregiver, you might find yourself letting people walk all over you—especially if you want them to like you. Narcissists will take full advantage of that.
Empaths, who often display codependent behaviors, need a crash course in setting boundaries, defining deal breakers, and maintaining personal standards. Learn to stand your ground like an adult without getting dragged along by a toxic person. When dealing with a narcissist, questioning them is essential. They lie frequently, so don’t just accept their word—demand proof, hold them accountable, and think for yourself. This is something you should practice with everyone, not just narcissists.
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2. Pop Their Fantasy Bubble
Narcissists live in their own version of reality, one where their lies are true, and they are the smartest, most important, and most powerful person around. They construct a world in which they are superior to everyone else. When you confront them with the truth, you’re bursting that fantasy bubble.
Be honest, even if it disrupts their delusion. Narcissists don’t want to hear the real truth; they want to hear a version of reality that flatters them. Their logic doesn’t align with the real world. By confronting them with facts and holding them accountable, you make them extremely uncomfortable. They hate facing reality because it threatens the image they’ve built for themselves. Show them how the world really sees them, and they will likely spiral.
3. Expose Them (But With Caution)
Exposing a narcissist’s true nature can indeed make them freak out, but I must include a caveat here: it may not be worth your time or effort. The truth is, you will never be able to convince everyone who the narcissist really is. Even if you expose them, some people will continue to believe the narcissist’s version of events, regardless of how much evidence you present.
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Rather than focusing on exposing one person, consider sharing your story more broadly. Start a blog, vlog, or YouTube channel about narcissism and abuse. Create a social media group to raise awareness and help others. You’ll find this approach much more fulfilling than going after a single individual.
4. Cut Communication
Cutting communication is crucial when dealing with a narcissist. The gray rock technique, where you respond in a dull, unemotional manner, can be effective in the short term. It reduces their ability to manipulate you, but it can be exhausting over time. If gray rock is necessary, use it while preparing for a more permanent solution.
For situations where no contact isn’t possible, like co-parenting, set clear boundaries and limit interactions to practical matters. Stick to written communication to control the flow of information. Whenever possible, aim for no contact as it’s the most effective way to break free and begin healing. Blocking them and removing them from your life isn’t cruel—it’s self-care.
5. Leave and Go No Contact
Ultimately, the only real solution is to leave the narcissist and cut off all contact. Narcissists do not change; their selfish behavior has no limits, and they will continue to lie, cheat, and manipulate. They will drag you down with them if you let them.
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I understand leaving is difficult. I speak from experience—being discarded was incredibly painful for me. But don’t wait for them to let you go. Make the choice to leave, and don’t look back. If you want to talk about a narcissistic relationship you’re dealing with, you can email me for private coaching sessions.
Proceed with Caution: The Repercussions
While standing your ground and being honest can make a narcissist panic, it also angers them. If you’re dealing with someone prone to physical violence, it’s important to involve law enforcement if needed. Be aware that any of these steps could prompt a narcissist to discard you abruptly or become more aggressive. If you must go slow and steady, then gray rock until you can safely go no contact.
How Narcissists Make You Freak Out
It’s also worth understanding how narcissists provoke us. Here are some ways they manipulate and destabilize people:
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- Lying: Narcissists lie compulsively. Whether it’s to save face or for entertainment, dishonesty is a tool they use frequently.
- Scare Tactics: They use threats to control you, such as threatening to end the relationship, smear your reputation, take your children, or harm you physically.
- Gaslighting: This psychological tactic makes you question your reality. Over time, you might start believing the lies they tell you, leading to emotional turmoil.
- Cutting Communication: Narcissists use the silent treatment as a punishment or ghost you when they find new “supply.” They discard you when they no longer need you but may come back to “hoover” you into their life again.
Navigating a relationship with a narcissist is incredibly challenging, but understanding how to protect yourself can make all the difference. It’s not about “winning” or changing them—narcissists rarely change their ways. Instead, it’s about prioritizing your own well-being and reclaiming your life.
Standing your ground, exposing the truth when necessary, setting firm boundaries, and eventually cutting off communication can help you regain a sense of control. Remember, going no contact is the ultimate step in healing. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary for your peace and future happiness.
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Healing is a process, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. You’re not alone in this journey, and seeking support from others who have faced similar struggles can provide strength and encouragement. Focus on your growth and let go of the need to fix or explain the narcissist’s behavior. Your life is your own, and you have the power to move forward. Take that first step and trust that better days are ahead.
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