When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you often punish yourself because you’re gaslit into believing you’re responsible for their terrible behavior. As a result, you engage in self-destructive behaviors like addiction—whether it’s alcohol, cigarettes, food, overspending, or sex. These addictions dull the inner pain, helping you survive, but they become ingrained. After leaving the relationship, you can’t just get rid of them instantly. It takes time, resources, and new ways of coping.
Number three: Your inability to forgive yourself.
The anger and blame you direct at yourself complicate your healing. Once you realize what has happened, you may feel angry for not seeing the signs sooner or for not leaving earlier. However, the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship are complex. You didn’t know then what you know now. Trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance made it hard to think clearly, keeping you stuck. Forgiveness and compassion toward yourself are essential for healing.
Number four: Complex post-traumatic stress response.
Victims of narcissistic abuse often suffer from complex post-traumatic stress, displaying symptoms such as chronic self-doubt, hypervigilance, emotional dysregulation, and even suicidality. Healing from this requires time, patience, and a lot of inner work.
Number five: Complex flashbacks.
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