This one is subtle but incredibly telling. A narcissist may insist on sleeping in the “power position” in bed. What do I mean by that? They will make sure they sleep closest to the door, the windows, or any place where they can have a vantage point. You might think, “Oh, maybe they just want to be the protector.” No, this isn’t about protection; it’s about maintaining control over the environment. Sleeping in the power position gives them a sense of superiority and dominance, even when they are not doing anything. It’s a psychological game. They want to be the one who oversees the space, making sure they are always the one in control, even in the simple act of sleeping. It is a silent reminder to you: “I am the one in charge here. This is my domain.” Now, don’t get me wrong—some survivors of narcissistic abuse may want to be close to exits because they want to feel safe, not to overpower someone. Let’s not mix the two.
Number five: They steal the blankets to control comfort
This sounds petty, doesn’t it? But it is something I have personally experienced. Narcissists have a habit of stealing the blankets at night, and again, it’s not as innocent as it seems. You might think, “Oh, they are just cold, or they like having more blankets.” But no, it’s another form of control. When they take the blankets, they are deciding who gets to be comfortable and who does not. You are left shivering, uncomfortable, and restless, while they sleep soundly. It is symbolic of the entire relationship dynamic—your needs come second to theirs. They get the comfort, the warmth, the safety, and you get the scraps. My parents would fight over blankets every single night. My mother would always complain that my father would pull the blankets off, leaving her cold and in pain. She would wake up in the middle of the night shivering, while he slept peacefully. My father, of course, would act like it was no big deal, dismissing her discomfort. But it was a big deal because it wasn’t just about the blanket; it was about who got to feel cared for and who had to suffer. This constant state of discomfort keeps you off-balance, even in your sleep, which is exactly where they want you—constantly adjusting, constantly bending to their needs.
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