Sadly, this kind of narcissistic supply is what most narcissists crave. It takes a heavy toll on their target, but it also makes it that much more surprising when you finally walk away for good. They definitely won’t see it coming, and sometimes, that’s the best closure you can get.
The danger in falling for this manipulation is that if you believe it, your sense of virtue becomes tied to your forgiveness. You might feel like a bad person or like you’ve given up on them if you decide to leave. But don’t fall into that trap. You can be just as good—actually, much better—when you stop putting up with someone else’s entitlement and abuse.
Finally, a narcissist may use your forgiveness to call you a liar. If you’ve forgiven them for something like lying or cheating, and the issue comes up again, they might say, “I thought you forgave me for that,” implying that you’re the one being disingenuous. It’s their way of shifting the blame.
If you’re thinking about forgiving a narcissist, I have one question for you: have you gone no contact? Because if you haven’t, forgiveness will be nearly impossible. True forgiveness is for you, not them. It feels like shedding a heavy weight, but it happens gradually, not all at once. If you’re ready to stop the cycle of abuse, go no contact and see how your life improves.
Sharing is caring!
