Narcissists are pathological liars. We know that they can lie to your face without even flinching; lying comes as naturally to them as breathing does to you. They are masters of the craft of manipulation and abuse. However, there are some lesser-known strategies that can help you see through their facade, spot their lies, and understand their true intentions. Let’s learn what these strategies are in today’s episode.
Let’s start with a question: what were the main lying tactics used by the narcissist who hurt you? How did you know they were lying? Drop your experiences in the comments below to equip other survivors with the tools they may need to navigate their situation.
On a side note, all these techniques require emotional objectivity and dispassionate curiosity. In other words, when trying to spot their lies, you must stay in control of your emotions and avoid reacting.
1. Instant Answer or Pausing Before Answering
One striking trait of narcissists is that their reactions to questions can be extreme—either giving an emotionally charged instant answer or pausing noticeably before answering. When caught off guard or feeling threatened, they may react instantly with an emotional answer, often aggressive, defensive, or overtly dramatic. For instance, if you ask them where they were last night, they might respond, “Why are you always accusing me of something? Can’t I have a life?” Their tone may be louder, and their words sharper, aiming to divert the conversation or make you feel guilty for asking.
On the other hand, a narcissist may pause before responding, especially when they need to craft a convincing response. This pause can feel unnatural as they mentally sift through possible answers that best serve their narrative. For example, if you ask them about their relationship with someone, they might pause, seeming deep in thought, before fabricating a story to deflect your suspicions.
2. Too Much Detail
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