The number one mistake we can make is judging people for their unusual habits without understanding the reasons behind them. Narcissistic abuse survivors often develop quirks in response to the trauma they’ve endured. These habits might seem strange at first glance, but they usually serve as coping mechanisms to help manage pain, confusion, or anxiety. By understanding these behaviors, we can gain perspective and cultivate compassion instead of judgment. Today, we’ll explore some of these unique habits and the reasons behind them. Are you ready?
1. Rapidly shifting gaze during group conversations:
If you’ve been affected by narcissistic abuse, you may find yourself quickly scanning every face in a group for signs of approval—or judgment. This habit often develops from becoming hyper-aware of the narcissist’s mood changes. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist specializing in narcissistic relationships, explains that survivors of narcissistic abuse become “emotional detectives,” always scanning for approval or disapproval. Your brain is constantly assessing who’s safe, even when no one in the room poses a threat.
2. Biting or licking lips frequently:
Many narcissistic abuse survivors tend to bite or lick their lips more often than they realize. According to trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, the body often manifests what the mind tries to suppress. Biting or licking lips is a way of managing the anxiety and stress that accumulates from past trauma. Consider replacing this habit with a healthier coping mechanism, like using flavored lip balm or practicing deep breathing exercises.
3. Holding their breath or sighing frequently:
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