If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you might catch yourself holding your breath or sighing frequently, almost without realizing it. Dr. Stephen Porges, developer of the polyvagal theory, notes that trauma can lock the nervous system into hypervigilance. Holding your breath is a way of bracing for the next emotional blow, while sighs are attempts to release the tension unconsciously held in the body.
4. Standing or sitting with arms crossed defensively:
This posture is common among narcissistic abuse survivors as a form of self-protection. Body language expert Dr. Amy Cuddy explains that crossing your arms can signal a need to protect yourself, often from feelings of vulnerability or insecurity. It’s like a personal shield against the world, helping survivors cope with lingering anxiety and sensitivity from past experiences.
5. Hunching shoulders:
Survivors of narcissistic abuse may hunch their shoulders as if trying to make themselves smaller. Dr. Brené Brown’s research on shame and vulnerability explains that hunching is often a reaction to feeling unsafe or undervalued. Practicing mindful posture exercises, such as consciously pulling your shoulders back, can promote confidence and help survivors feel more grounded in their space.
6. Shaking a leg uncontrollably while seated:
Leg shaking can signal pent-up anxiety or nervous energy. Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen says that fidgeting acts as a stress release, akin to the body’s way of saying, “I need to move.” While it might seem distracting, it often helps survivors manage inner tension when feeling overwhelmed.
7. Rubbing wrists together absent-mindedly:
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