Without control, a narcissist feels vulnerable, insignificant, and abandoned. These core wounds and triggers send them spiraling back to unresolved fears from their childhood. They realize they no longer influence you, and that, in turn, denies them the validation they’ve grown accustomed to from you. This can lead to a feeling of humiliation, which often manifests as rage because they cannot manage these emotions.
They will likely lash out or try to make you believe everything is your fault, manipulating you into feeling guilty for leaving. This manipulation is all part of trying to pull you back in, but it’s essential to see it for what it truly is—a tactic, not a genuine expression of remorse or love.
Hoovering and Guilt Manipulation
Many narcissists will attempt to “hoover” you back with seemingly innocent messages like, “I miss you” or “Weren’t we great together?” These are meant to trigger you, to make you feel guilty or nostalgic. Remember, this isn’t sincere; it’s about drawing you back into their control. Think about it—if they truly valued the relationship, why didn’t they make an effort to keep it healthy in the first place?
Silent Treatment and Smear Campaigns
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