One of the most tragic aspects of dealing with a narcissist is that you may gradually lose your own identity. This person, who at first may have seemed supportive, begins to criticize and belittle you in ways that chip away at who you are. You may look in the mirror and see the same face, but you feel different—detached, drained, and sometimes hopeless. At this point, the narcissist’s voice might feel like it’s replaced your inner voice. But that loss of identity is not permanent. With time, healing, and support, you can rediscover yourself and regain that sense of identity that feels genuine to you.
As this happens, you may find yourself plagued by feelings of guilt and self-blame. Narcissists are experts at deflecting responsibility, often convincing you that you are the problem. It’s a subtle manipulation where, before you realize it, you start believing that you’re responsible for their dissatisfaction. This overwhelming guilt can lead you to feel like you have to “fix” things, to take on the responsibility for both your and the narcissist’s happiness, even though they continually erode your sense of self.
Trust becomes another casualty in these relationships. Narcissists often plant seeds of doubt, making you second-guess your own thoughts and feelings. This undermines your ability to trust yourself, which can be devastating. You may start to wonder if you’re seeing things correctly or if you’re being too sensitive. Narcissists make you feel isolated, gradually cutting you off from people who care about you, because they don’t want others to see their true nature. This isolation only makes their manipulation more effective.
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