You may have often wondered why toxic individuals are present in your life or why they have entered your life at all. You’re not alone in thinking this, but in this video, I’m going to explore why toxic individuals are attracted to people like you and why they stick around. I want to put a trigger warning here: some of the information I’m going to share in this video might be difficult to hear. Nevertheless, it is the truth. Watch this video if this is something you have ever wondered about.
The first reason you might have toxic individuals in your life is unresolved past trauma. I know this is hard-hitting, but it’s true: unresolved past trauma can stem from childhood experiences of neglect or abuse, which can be emotional, psychological, or spiritual. Witnessing dysfunctional relationships, such as those of your parents or other family members, shapes your expectations of how you view relationships and what you are willing to accept from others. Families are usually the first point of reference we have for understanding how to relate to others. If this reference is dysfunctional, it will skew our perceptions of how relationships should be.
There’s also something called repetition compulsion. Sometimes we unconsciously seek people who mirror past experiences or what we learned in childhood, often in an attempt to resolve unprocessed trauma. This can occur without our awareness, but it’s a way we try to resolve past issues and find the validation we didn’t receive in childhood.
Additionally, low self-esteem plays a significant role. When we have low self-esteem, we may have a low sense of self-worth and tolerate poor treatment because we feel we deserve it or don’t know any better. You might believe you don’t deserve better or that you’re on your own, leading you to accept mistreatment. This can also lead to a cycle of seeking validation from others, making you susceptible to manipulation and control. There are individuals out there who exploit this need, creating a lack of boundaries because you feel you don’t deserve better. You may struggle with saying no and find it challenging to assert your needs, believing your own needs are less important than making others happy. This doesn’t protect your well-being and often leads to feelings of disappointment.
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