When a narcissist decides to drive you crazy, they don’t just gaslight or manipulate—although that’s a significant part of their strategy. They engage in behaviors that pressure you to suppress your feelings, believe their version of reality, and abandon your need to be seen or understood. What are these behaviors?
Tactic 1: Getting Louder
A narcissist often raises their voice during conflicts, especially if they sense they’re losing the argument. For them, loudness equates to honesty, truthfulness, and righteousness. They believe the louder they are, the more valid their points seem. However, in reality, it’s a tactic to silence and overwhelm you. They know that if they increase the volume, you’re less likely to engage in a shouting match. This behavior not only suppresses you but also drains you emotionally, leaving you feeling cornered and attacked.
Tactic 2: Swearing on Anything
Some narcissists swear on anything or anyone, from their deceased parents to their own life, just to escape accountability. When they are confronted, they might deny their words or actions and then swear on something significant to intensify their denial. This can make you doubt your memory and feel obligated to apologize for something you didn’t do. This tactic not only manipulates you but also shifts the blame back onto you, allowing them to escape responsibility.
Tactic 3: Stonewalling
Stonewalling is a tactic where a narcissist completely ignores you, treating you as if you don’t exist. It’s different from silent treatment; stonewalling is a deliberate, prolonged act that leaves you feeling invisible and emotionally isolated. This tactic can continue until you apologize or submit to them. By ignoring you, they exert control, making you feel desperate for resolution, even if it means conceding to their version of events.
Tactic 4: Faking an Emergency
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Narcissists are masters of deception and can go as far as pretending to have a health crisis, such as a heart attack or a panic attack, to manipulate you emotionally. By faking an emergency, they aim to make you feel guilty and responsible for their “suffering.” This tactic plays on your empathy, making you believe you’re at fault for causing them distress.
Tactic 5: Using Your Reactions Against You
Narcissists provoke reactions out of you only to use them as “evidence” that you’re the problem. For instance, they may push your buttons until you finally snap, and then they point to your reaction as proof of your instability. This tactic not only manipulates others into believing their lies but also makes you question your own responses, which are normal reactions to their abuse.
Conclusion
Thank you for tuning in to today’s episode. Narcissists can use these tactics to manipulate and control, turning their lies into “truths” that serve their agenda. Remember, healing from this abuse is a journey, and acknowledging these tactics is a significant step forward. Until next time, let the healing begin.
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