Survivors of narcissistic abuse often feel compelled to check their phones frequently, bracing themselves for bad news or rejection. This behavior arises from the anxiety the abuse created, where they were often criticized or ignored. Psychotherapist Beverly Engel explains that abuse survivors can become hypervigilant, constantly preparing for disappointment or hurt. If this is a habit of yours, try setting specific intervals to check notifications and engage in grounding activities to keep your focus on the present moment, which can help reduce anxiety.
7. Micromanaging Their Tone
Many survivors find themselves constantly adjusting their tone to avoid sounding harsh or aggressive. This habit stems from the worry of being judged, rooted in a history of having their voices invalidated. Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone explains that survivors may become overly cautious in communication to avoid conflict and protect themselves. Remember that your voice deserves to be heard as it is; you don’t always have to walk on eggshells.
8. Over-Preparing for Simple Tasks
Over-preparation for simple tasks is common among narcissistic abuse survivors, who often feel a need to be ready for anything. This habit stems from a fear of failure or criticism, ingrained through repeated abuse. Life coach Dr. Nicole LePera explains that over-preparation is a way for survivors to shield themselves from potential judgment. Keep in mind that it’s okay to be human and make mistakes—perfection isn’t required.
9. Withdrawing from Conversations When Overwhelmed
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