Narcissists never truly move on. They go from one source of supply to the next, but they’re always watching what you’re doing—checking to see if you can rebuild your life after they’ve tried to tear it down or if you can place yourself in a better position than before.
Narcissists are drawn to people who are successful, attractive, and have the power to influence others. That’s the type of person they want to surround themselves with.
When the narcissist first met you, you might have held significant power, influence, and physical attractiveness. But as the narcissist began draining you of your resources, your power started to diminish. As they abused you, caused you stress, and made you feel anxious or depressed, you may have also begun to lose your looks or physical health. You might have gained or lost weight, started feeling constantly tired, and found yourself losing interest in things you once enjoyed. At this stage, the narcissist sees you as no longer valuable—not just to them but in general. Narcissists are never satisfied.
Once the narcissist has drained your energy and resources and worn you down to the point where you no longer look or feel good, they abandon you. They leave because you are no longer of any use to them—they want to be around people everyone else desires, people who stand out. After they’ve taken everything they wanted from you, they leave you to fend for yourself.
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If you want to make the narcissist regret losing you, focus on rebuilding yourself. Forget about them for now—don’t initiate any contact or respond to their attempts to re-engage. Instead, prioritize rebuilding your life. Heal your past traumas, improve your mental and emotional health, exercise, stay hydrated, eat well, take care of your skin, get a haircut, refresh your wardrobe—whatever makes you feel rejuvenated. But it’s essential to do this for yourself, not for them. If your motivation is to impress the narcissist or win them back, it will come across as desperate. Instead, prioritize yourself because you love and value who you are.
When you truly value yourself, you naturally care for your mental, emotional, and physical health. You understand your worth and everything you have to offer, so it’s only natural to take care of your valuable body, mind, and soul.
After you’ve rebuilt your life and upgraded your health, you may be ready to start dating again. But now, with a renewed outlook, you won’t just go back to the narcissist—even if they want you back. You deserve someone on your level, someone who has also taken the time to grow and improve themselves. You are worthy of a partner who is better than the narcissist, someone who brings excitement and positivity to your life.
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Narcissists are superficial; they only care about appearances rather than anything meaningful. They believe the world revolves around them, making you feel that you can’t find happiness or purpose without them. But you need to start seeing the world as a place of abundance, where there’s plenty for you to enjoy and achieve. You don’t need the narcissist to find peace, love, and joy; you can build a fulfilling life without them.
When you work on your mental, emotional, and physical health and rebuild your life, it impacts the narcissist. They’ll see your happiness, your growth, and your new, healthy relationships. And when they realize they’ve lost someone as strong and valuable as you, that’s when regret begins to set in.
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