Today, we’re focusing on elderly narcissists. Do they struggle to accept the inevitable passage of time? In other words, do they change as they age? If they do, is it for better or worse? Another important question is how their aging impacts their loved ones and the people around them. How do those closest to narcissists feel as they grow older?
Answering these questions is challenging because there will always be exceptions. For now, let’s focus on common issues narcissists face as they age and explore potential solutions.
Common Traits of Narcissists
A sense of entitlement is a hallmark of narcissism. Narcissists often exhibit selfish and argumentative tendencies. They are extremely sensitive to criticism and can be emotionally detached. Many thrive in positions of authority, driven by their love of power and control.
However, as they age, they may lose touch with the friends and loved ones they once had. If they didn’t nurture these relationships earlier in life, those connections might vanish. In some cases, people deliberately distance themselves from narcissists for self-preservation.
The Challenges of Aging Narcissists
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Like everyone else, narcissists experience isolation and loneliness. However, they may face extreme depression as a result. To combat this, they might attempt to rekindle old relationships or draw new people into their lives by highlighting their charm, material success, or other advantages.
Some narcissists enter a state of denial as they approach middle age, clinging to their self-image as attractive or superior. They may invest heavily in preserving their youthful appearance, spending on hair dye, clothing, or anti-aging products. Others seek validation through relationships with younger partners. Narcissistic mothers may even attempt to emulate their daughters, competing for attention in inappropriate ways.
Narcissistic Parents and Grandparents
Narcissistic parents and grandparents often display harmful behaviors toward their offspring. Parents may take credit for their children’s accomplishments, downplay their achievements, or sabotage their efforts. Grandparents may try to undermine parental authority by spoiling their grandchildren, portraying themselves as the more loving and supportive figure.
Decline in Power and Influence
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As narcissists age, maintaining their false sense of superiority becomes increasingly difficult. They may feel less attractive and capable, which weakens their ability to deceive themselves and others. They may dwell on past achievements or try to assert their relevance by criticizing younger generations.
For some, this leads to increased bitterness and resentment. They may lament failed relationships or missed opportunities, often blaming others for their circumstances. Their inability to accept responsibility for their actions perpetuates a cycle of regret and hostility.
Health Issues and Dependency
Aging narcissists may face unexplained health issues or chronic conditions, which they often exaggerate to gain sympathy. These individuals might resist relying on others for help, but their abrasive behavior can alienate potential caregivers.
Impact on Loved Ones
For those who care about aging narcissists, witnessing their decline can be a mix of pity and relief. Loved ones may remember the pain caused by the narcissist’s behavior but also feel compelled to help during times of serious illness. In rare cases, this stage of life may offer an opportunity for reconciliation.
Some narcissists may finally admit their wrongdoings and express regret, though this is not guaranteed. Their inability to manipulate others or maintain their usual defenses might lead to moments of honesty.
Final Thoughts
While it’s possible for aging narcissists to experience growth and humility, it’s equally likely that their negative tendencies persist. As they become more dependent, they may either alienate those around them or find opportunities for reflection and repair.
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