What makes it so difficult to be around a narcissist is their devious and eccentric nature. They behave in ways that make you feel targeted and cornered as an individual because their main goal is to ensure you are never at peace. You do not feel safe in your own home, no matter where you try to hide. It feels as though their eyes and ears are always around.
Let me tell you this: you’re not paranoid. They have an unsettling habit of secretly collecting information.
If that sounds interesting and you’re eager to learn why you’re not the crazy one, please stay until the very end. I’ll provide deeper explanations to validate your experiences.
Behavior 1: Eavesdropping
The first behavior is eavesdropping. Narcissists secretly listen to your conversations to establish control and make you feel unsafe.
In my case, my father did this constantly, as did his family. It wasn’t just a bad habit—it was a fully developed personality trait. You could be having a conversation with someone in person or on the phone, and something inside you would sense that they were listening.
You’d check, and voilà, you’d catch them red-handed or see them running away. Sometimes, they wouldn’t even bother to hide. My father would look me straight in the eyes with a predatory smirk, as if to say, “Gotcha.”
Privacy didn’t exist. It felt like he was everywhere, and it left me extremely unsettled. No matter how carefully I planned, I’d always find him nearby. He somehow knew how to walk silently, which tells me this behavior ran in his family.
Instead of feeling ashamed, he’d punish me for the content of my conversations. “How dare you talk about me to so-and-so?” he’d demand. This behavior extended to every family member. Everyone was on edge, whispering, “We can’t talk about that—he might be listening.”
Eavesdropping is about control, plain and simple. Have you experienced this? Let me know in the comments.
Behavior 2: Lecturing for Hours
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The second behavior is lecturing you for hours. Narcissists can argue for six to seven hours without pause, and they never seem to get tired.
If you try to argue with them for even five minutes, you’ll feel utterly drained. Yet, they can go on and on, even if no one is listening. Their energy seems endless, and it can only be explained by their vampiric nature. They thrive on negativity and chaos.
This endless ranting serves to disturb your mental state. Imagine someone beating a loud drum next to your ear for hours. Initially, you can tolerate it, but over time, it becomes unbearable.
Why do they do this? To provoke a reaction from you. They want you to beg them to stop, to admit they’ve broken you. It’s a way to assert control over your emotional state, demonstrating their complete lack of empathy.
Behavior 3: Gang Stalking
The third behavior is gang stalking, which involves narcissists working in groups to target an individual.
I observed this within my father’s family. My grandparents, their children, and even their grandchildren would sit together and target someone. If that person walked by, they’d all suddenly raise their heads, like meerkats, and start whispering to each other.
They’d send a “flying monkey” or enabler to extract information under the guise of friendship. This group behavior is designed to instill anxiety. Imagine being gang-stalked by your boss and their enablers at work, observing your every move. It’s impossible to prove, but the psychological toll is immense.
Behavior 4: Using Rivals Against You
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The fourth behavior is using your rivals against you.
Narcissists intentionally bring up your competitors to make you feel insecure. For example, if you’re trying to lose weight, they might praise someone who’s thinner than you. If you’re starting a business, they might talk about your more successful rivals to instill doubt and kill your enthusiasm.
They’ll also use subtle cues, like displaying items associated with your rivals, to remind you of your “inferiority.” This constant comparison is designed to crush your passion and dampen your spirit.
Behavior 5: Weaponizing Incompetence
Finally, the fifth behavior is weaponizing incompetence.
If you ask a narcissist for help, they’ll agree but deliberately do a poor job. This forces you to redo the task, making you hesitant to ask for help in the future.
They may also act immature or irresponsible. For instance, they might leave a mess after grooming themselves or refuse to clean up after themselves, expecting you to do it. This entitlement reinforces their control while increasing your workload and stress.
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