Another reason narcissists use the silent treatment is to manipulate you into chasing them.
When things aren’t going as they hoped, they may choose silence to express their disappointment. The goal is to make you feel guilty, prompting you to apologize and work hard to cheer them up. Narcissists enjoy seeing you make the effort—it gives them a sense of power and value.
They’ll play this game whenever they’re bored in a relationship or disappointed with you. By keeping silent, they gauge how their behavior affects you and whether they still have control over you. For them, it’s all about the thrill of manipulation.
It’s essential to avoid becoming emotionally attached to people like this, as their primary goal is to make you feel bad and ruin your peace of mind.
3. They Are Planning Their Next Scheme
Narcissists often retreat into silence because they’re focused on their next move.
Whether they’re plotting revenge on someone who hurt them or strategizing how to secure a new source of admiration, they become quiet and introspective during this phase. Their silence can feel suspicious, and they may appear more reserved or distant.
When disturbed during this “planning mode,” narcissists are prone to irrational outbursts or conflict. If they’re preparing to discard someone—perhaps after finding a new supply—they stop love-bombing and shift into full discard mode.
During these times, they put significant effort into perfecting their schemes, whether it’s to win over a new admirer or execute a calculated exit. Any attempt to approach them during this period may be seen as an invasion of their plans.
Conclusion
These are the three main reasons why narcissists use the silent treatment:
- They feel uncomfortable and threatened.
- They want to manipulate you into chasing them.
- They’re strategizing their next move.
In some cases, their silence may simply be a way to annoy you, plan something, or observe your reaction. However, it’s important to understand that their silence isn’t due to feelings of hopelessness, shame, or regret. Narcissists only feel better about themselves when they make others unhappy.
If you’ve ever encountered someone like this, don’t mistake their silence for genuine emotion. Instead, recognize it for what it is—a calculated form of manipulation.
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